Love looking left
The little girl Lin Zi grew up, the stars in the sky became smaller, and the “stars” in her heart became more numerous.
Along the way, always thinking: Who are you?
Who is you
Looking around the eyes, there is always a layer of regret: Why isn’t he F4, isn’t he .?
From small to large, everyone will align to the left and align to the right.
However, no one has given us special training on love, so for a long time, we had to look around and look at the index of love that could be “aligned” with a sense of uncertainty.
However, is there such an indicator?
Case of Huayu: Sindy, 23, just joined the job and is a new white-collar worker. Everything has time to start from scratch, including love.
The previous boyfriend was in desperate pursuit, and Sindy was helpless.
It’s not that it’s not sweet, and it’s not Yang Huashui, but looking at him, I’m always unsatisfied.
A huge photo of Leonardo was posted in Sindy’s room. Friends laughed that she was so old and chasing stars, but Sindy said, I am not chasing stars, it is affection.
There was a debate in his mouth, and his heart was actually bottomless: Everyone knew that Titanic was a drama except the shipwreck; everyone knew that Ruth and Jack were so enviable, just because they had such a special background.And a screenwriter who will use the background.
In fact, that movie was also watched with her boyfriend more than three years ago. Who knew that after watching the movie, he would suddenly become the most unfortunate regret in Sindy’s heart-he would not paint, and did not dare to take her to the tip of the waves.It will not spit up so recklessly . Sindy began to lose her temper for no reason, more and more unconscious, more and more feeling of loss . innocent boy bewildered, begging sadlyShe gave a real reason for breaking up.
Where is the reason?
Confused Sindy wrote a letter and wanted to discuss the confusion in his heart with everyone.
Sister Lin Zi analysis: Love, for us growing up, is a bit like a erratic cloud, the “he” is a drop of water in the cloud-easy to see how he looks!
Therefore, imagination and longing account for the absolute proportion of the shape of love, and because the stars are dazzling, it is easiest for us to look at the sky and see the clouds.
In fact, the real “flower” is not the heart, and the eyes that are not fascinated by the “stars” -1 You are not stereotyped, so you cannot stereotype him: in his early 20s, it is said that “the boss is not too young”, but in factIt is the primary stage of personality formation and improvement. At this stage, the mind is accelerating “development”, so the most frequent recurrences and imbalances of emotions are high and low, and their views on others are changing day by day.
In this state, the love Titanic is dangling, and it is easy to make the cute Ruths “sick.” Naturally, a few “Jack” seasick spirits are naturally needed to adjust and adjust.
However, once the ship is docked and stunned, the needs will change, and “Jack” may be replaced by “Mike”, “Rock” or some other “gram star”.
In short, the reason why we use celebrities and idols to create templates we love is because we haven’t been stereotyped, and our personality is still abrupt, so we can’t stereotype “he”, so we have to copy some ideal images from a distance.In the image, he abstracts the qualities and personality he admires, and spells out the appearance of “his”.
2 Longing for romance, can’t accept the impact of reality: just like every girl has her own doll, every girl also has her own “prince” and “white horse” in her heart.It is the most beautiful music hidden deep in the soul. Even if it has grown up completely and stereotyped, it will still reverberate and satisfy the girl’s desire for romance.
Romance itself is not wrong, but only romance, love will wither and wither due to lack of realistic soil.
A relationship may start with a romantic seed, and then after that, germination, branching, and long leaves, each process is completed in the friction between romance and reality.
If the mental preparation is not enough, even a little friction may cause the seed to give up growth, and the excuse for giving up will negate the less romantic person around them and pin their hopes on those distant “stars.”
3 Vanity, I hope that my “things” are different: Love is an investment, but after it is invested, it will become a kind of capital, and people who are too vanity will use it to compare.
It is good to fall in love with a person who loves himself, but if this person cannot make others envy, the vanity will feel lost, and then he will doubt “he” and the value of love.
In this case, it is also easy to suffer from “love chase”, suffering from the perfection of idols and the truth of “his”, dissatisfaction, and unable to concentrate on love.
In fact, the occurrence of love itself has a “halo effect”-when you are truly committed, many of the other party’s shortcomings can be easily covered by the halo. When the time has passed, the eyes have adapted to the light, and the deficiencies are gradually exposed.You are a true lover.
And star idols can “save out”, and we almost always see their halo.
This halo is a virtual image, which is only suitable for sticking to the openings of youth, using our imagination to look far.
If you find that you, like Sindy, are trapped by their aura and your imagination, ca n’t accept it, or ca n’t find the real “he” that man “carries”, please follow Sister Lin Zi,Do a breakthrough training in love: 1 Look forward to love: It is definitely a sign of spiritual maturity to love a person, and it is also one of the “functions” of a mature mind.
So the first step is to start with self-exploration and stereotypes.
First, pick a sunny day with plenty of sunshine. At 3 in the afternoon, bring two sheets of paper and a box of 12 color pens. With your best friend or boyfriend (if you have one), go to an elegant coffee shop.Hall, find a window-side position where you can get the sun, sit face to face, order two cups of your favorite coffee, take a sip, taste the taste of the entrance, then take out the paper and pen, pick yourself in the warm sunshineFavorite colors, each with a self-portrait-it can be anything you want, such as flowers, animals, landscapes, etc.
After drawing, write your own notes on the back of the paper, the mood and thoughts when painting, then exchange each other’s drawings, take a closer look (not looking at the back), and tell the other person to see in his or her paintingWhen it comes to something, the more, the better, including personality, hobbies, inner thoughts, etc.
Listen carefully, then compare your notes to see what you find-In fact, self-portraits and comments from each other are the best tools to help you recognize yourself. You will get a lot of information that you did n’t have before.It is a bottle of mini-shaped personality “styling water” that can help you outline: you will probably be shaped as a similar person, and the “his” in your subconscious is roughly a kind.
This is the beginning of self-exploration and the beginning of a harmonious love direction.
After your personality is preliminarily shaped, your “sickness reaction” will not be so strong. 2 Love looks to the left: Although reality is always annoying, it is indispensable for love.
Don’t expect love with “soilless cultivation”, you should learn to stand at the coordinates of love and look to the left-although there are too many “real negative numbers”, only after the positive and negative offsets, can there be a balance of numbers.
Specifically, for love itself and the other party, you should maintain such a balanced attitude-there is no perfect person, so there is no perfect love, so blindly ask your feelings and perfection with the perfect storyline and heroThe other party is not only “unfriendly”, but also meaningless and hard to do.
Unveiling the absolute veil of love is the first step, because many times, we are worshipped on the surface as idol stars, but in fact we are obsessed with such an absolute romantic love.
3 Love goes hand in hand: The treatment of excessive vanity in love, the ultimate is to cultivate self-confidence first-blindly comparing, in fact, is not enough self-confidence.
Without confidence in yourself, you will lack self-judgment; without judgment, you will have to rely on the envy of others. If you do not get it, you will deny yourself and then love.
In fact, the truly enviable love mode is not the “climbing style” like campsis and oak, otherwise the two will be firm and confident, “go forward”, so they go to the tallest with all the effortThe “Oak Tree” is better to find the person who can best fit your soul, train your pace of love, and calmly walk out of your wonderful.
Only in this way can we avoid “love chase” and find the “Jack” who really belongs to us.
The road of love is rugged and meandering and fragrant, I hope everyone is happy all the way!